Thursday, November 17, 2011

An Open Letter to Joseph S. Blatter

Dear Sepp,

I know right now you’ve been getting a lot of flack. There have been many articles, blogs, podcasts, and tweets outlining, capturing, and demonstrating why you should not be President. There’s been naming calling, awful (even by my standards) photoshop jobs, and demands for your resignation. There has been outcry over your comments and insistence on an apology (or several). You must not be in a happy place right now; lucky for you, I’m here to help out.

Don’t get me wrong: I have absolutely no time for racism, sexism, homophobia, or general bigotry. That bit is your own doing; you’re one step away from being the President of the SVP (see: No, I can’t help you with that mess, but I can help you with your current predicament of President.

All you need to do is hand it over to me.

That’s right. I am giving you a gift by allowing you to hand your burden over to me. I will gladly take the post. I am willing to clean up your mess and make soccer alright in the world once again. Don’t worry Seppy, I will take care of everything. I can even send you my resume if you want, I have excellent experience in helping out elderly Swiss.

You don’t have to end your career with (total) shame and hatred. For once, do the right thing for the sport and give it back to the people who really care about it. Except you can’t give it back to all of us, so just give it back to me. I promise I will represent the fans who no longer are willing to stand for what FIFA has become.

I’ll give you some time to think it over, but I hope you take my offer into serious consideration. Remember, at one point you must have loved soccer too. Just give me a call, and I’ll head out on the next flight to Kloten. I quite like the new terminal anyway.



And to the rest of you: my sincere thanks for your messages, RTs, support, encouragement, and backing. It means a lot. Both on a personal level and on a soccer level: there really is a demand for change. Keep spreading the word.


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