Friday, September 30, 2011

The Night Before The Last Game

Forward: I know that this will come as a big surprise to you all, but I had fallen ill over the last few days, which is why I’ve been quiet lately. Just so you know, my nickname at work is “Pet Store Puppy.” (though, when I’m not sick it’s “Little Gnocchi”).

(Live! From my bedroom!)

Tomorrow will be my last MLS TFC game of the season (and I missed the Pumas game due to being sick). I won’t be in the province for the final game—October 22nd—as I’ll be in Winnipeg celebrating the decent and likable Jerrad Peters’ birthday (Spoiler Alert!: he’s going to get birthday crepes!) and try as I did, I couldn’t get a flight back in time for the game. And he refused to drive me.


Anyway, tomorrow will be my last game of the season, so let’s do it right. However, before we get into that, let’s have a recap of the season:

  • Burned through my list of friends who I can take to games, made a list of enemies in the process.
  • Drowned my sorrows in overpriced BMO beer.
  • Missed every single National Anthem (does that need to be capitalized?)
  • Missed every single kick off (except one).
  • Missed an entire half of a game drowning my sorrows in reasonable priced Maro beer over another soccer game.
  • Bought a TFC lawn gnome.
  • Lost my TFC lawn gnome to my mother who has stuck it in front of our television along with her Swiss National soccer lawn gnome in order to “bring luck” to games (Another Spoiler Alert!: They haven’t!)
  • Lost a bet and am now spending a Saturday night babysitting the Rossi brood.
  • Nearly got into a fight with a random stranger in the stands. Sorry, “physical altercation.” But he was an Arsenal fan, so he doesn’t really count anyway.
  • Nearly broke up with Peters due to a CCL game. Sorry, “made him sleep on the couch.” But he is a United fan, so he doesn’t really count anyway.
  • Spent a small fortune and bought nearly every piece of TFC swag the merch booths sell at BMO, leaving me with no other clothes to wear while not at work, except for THE ONE SHIRT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BUY ALL YEAR BUT CAN NEVER SEEM TO FIND IT:

(Er. I can't seem to find it online either. So here's an artist rendition on how it looks. Or rather, how I think it looks. Note the copyright). 
  • Had my heart broken by 11 men.

But, I’ve also..
  • Had my heart restored by 11 men.
  • Bounced in the stands because I just can’t get enough.
  • Got a hug, and a scarf, from the lovely Paul Beirne.
  • Broken the BMO virginity of several people, including Smelks, Jenn, and the decent and likeable Jerrad Peters.
  • Ate more pulled pork sandwiches than humanly possible (aka 5… all season).
  • Became an expert at TFC haikus:
They’re the men in red
Sometimes white, if they’re away
Always in our hearts
  • Managed to get my mum to watch two full games (on television, she may have only done it for the gnome).
  • Had Duane declare on numerous occasions that I am right.
  • Always.
  • Had Boris declare the same thing.
  • Always. Except once.
  • Spoke to Frei in Schweizerdeutsch, was replied to in Boringdeutsch (still a highlight).
  • Had Frings turn his head in my general direction.
  • Had Aron Winter shake my hand.

I suppose, all in all, it’s been a good season. For me. I’m not about the start writing about the actual team until I know the season is done.

I will say this though: Toronto FC, I love you. Don’t fuck up tomorrow.

And, for the love of God, win.


Post script: I am going to retweet myself in blog form (what?) because it still stands:

@SonjaMissio: BLOG POST TONIGHT! Sometimes I still do those (This is why I'd never make it as a writer. That, and lack of talent, basic grammar). 

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